Published on May 26, 2020
Doing my part to keep us all safe
I sit in my recliner unwashed, unshaven and unrepentant.
I am enjoying a friendly glass of Chardonnay with some shrimp and a crab cake from a local restaurant. I am sacrificing to help the eateries survive the enforced closures through curbside pickup of some good food.
I feel it is my civic duty to encourage you to do the same.
The only good thing about quarantine is no one knows if you are a slob. I keep a clean kitchen and brush my teeth faithfully, but that is as good as it gets. Although I cannot stand to go more than one day without a long, hot shower. Hey, I do have standards.
I have decided to stock only healthy snacks in my home to lose weight. But I will have to deplete my cookie inventory before I begin the healthy snack regimen.
I have carrots, peanuts, popcorn, celery, and cheese. Unfortunately, when the snack bug attacks, cookies are my first choice. I am down to one row of Oreos and have promised myself that I will not purchase anymore, at least not in the near future.
Oh no, I just realized I have graham crackers, too. Technically, not cookies, but they fall in that category. I’m also spotting some Pop-Tarts in the pantry adjacent to the graham crackers. I must convince myself that I don’t have to eat my way out of this abundance. It’s hard.
In my frenzy to avoid the cookies, I find myself eating Oreos, but I try to negate that by eating a bag of microwave popcorn. I’m not sure if that works, but my heart was in the right place; ‘twas my mouth that betrayed me.
The news is not good today. I replenished my cookies, but I did not buy Oreos. I bought a package of Pepperidge Farm White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies. My theory is it’s a smaller package with fewer cookies. (I’m not sure about the calories.) Therefore, it’s not as evil as the package of Oreos.
We celebrated together as a family at my home. I think we were legally congregating as a group. This was our first big gathering since the quarantine began, and I hope the beginning of a new trend.
The Friday before Mother’s Day, I cooked a brisket. I slow-cooked it at 225 degrees with pecan wood.
We chose to celebrate on Saturday. The crew arrived around noon and began making side dishes to accompany the brisket. Ro-Tel cheese dip, five-ingredient White Queso Dip, brisket and cream cheese-stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon, Bush’s Baked Beans, hot dogs and salad.
We ate, visited, watched movies and enjoyed one another’s company. It was a nice day that we all had anticipated celebrating, but mostly we relished being together.
I must have been sleep-shopping at the grocery store because I just found some more cookies. I must eat them, and I will continue to monitor the news broadcasts and newspaper accounts of the novel coronavirus status. I am doing my part - munch, munch.
I hope and pray that its progress continues to diminish.
We are all in this together, socially distanced, of course.
(Edward Forbes wants to hear from you. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org or send comments by snail mail to The Bulletin, PO Box 2426, Angleton TX. 77516.)