HOME ARCHIVE

Published on May 26, 2020

Doing my part to keep us all safe

By Edward A. Forbes / The Bulletin

I sit in my recliner unwashed, unshaven and unrepentant.

I am enjoying a friendly glass of Chardonnay with some shrimp and a crab cake from a local restaurant. I am sacrificing to help the eateries survive the enforced closures through curbside pickup of some good food.

I feel it is my civic duty to encourage you to do the same.

The only good thing about quarantine is no one knows if you are a slob. I keep a clean kitchen and brush my teeth faithfully, but that is as good as it gets. Although I cannot stand to go more than one day without a long, hot shower. Hey, I do have standards.

I have decided to stock only healthy snacks in my home to lose weight. But I will have to deplete my cookie inventory before I begin the healthy snack regimen.

I have carrots, peanuts, popcorn, celery, and cheese. Unfortunately, when the snack bug attacks, cookies are my first choice. I am down to one row of Oreos and have promised myself that I will not purchase anymore, at least not in the near future.

Oh no, I just realized I have graham crackers, too. Technically, not cookies, but they fall in that category. I’m also spotting some Pop-Tarts in the pantry adjacent to the graham crackers. I must convince myself that I don’t have to eat my way out of this abundance. It’s hard.

In my frenzy to avoid the cookies, I find myself eating Oreos, but I try to negate that by eating a bag of microwave popcorn. I’m not sure if that works, but my heart was in the right place; ‘twas my mouth that betrayed me.

The news is not good today. I replenished my cookies, but I did not buy Oreos. I bought a package of Pepperidge Farm White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies. My theory is it’s a smaller package with fewer cookies. (I’m not sure about the calories.) Therefore, it’s not as evil as the package of Oreos.
Mother’s Day broke up this daily routine of indecision.

We celebrated together as a family at my home. I think we were legally congregating as a group. This was our first big gathering since the quarantine began, and I hope the beginning of a new trend.

The Friday before Mother’s Day, I cooked a brisket. I slow-cooked it at 225 degrees with pecan wood.

We chose to celebrate on Saturday. The crew arrived around noon and began making side dishes to accompany the brisket. Ro-Tel cheese dip, five-ingredient White Queso Dip, brisket and cream cheese-stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon, Bush’s Baked Beans, hot dogs and salad.

We ate, visited, watched movies and enjoyed one another’s company. It was a nice day that we all had anticipated celebrating, but mostly we relished being together.

I must have been sleep-shopping at the grocery store because I just found some more cookies. I must eat them, and I will continue to monitor the news broadcasts and newspaper accounts of the novel coronavirus status. I am doing my part - munch, munch.

I hope and pray that its progress continues to diminish.

We are all in this together, socially distanced, of course.

(Edward Forbes wants to hear from you. Email him at eforbes1946@gmail.com or send comments by snail mail to The Bulletin, PO Box 2426, Angleton TX. 77516.)