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Promises, promises: My official New year’s resolutions

By John Toth / Editor and Publisher

Now that the holiday haze is over, and we’re back to the real world, it’s time to make some resolutions.
Everybody is making their own, so I thought it would be interesting to once again this time of the year, come up with a few different promises, promises.
1) In 2016, I will try to finish a book I am writing, although that’s a big if. There is always something else that needs to be done, like working on The Bulletin. I’m not complaining, though. The paper has been good to us, but it’s hard to work multiple jobs. Fun, but hard.
2) In 2016, I will try to spend less time on Facebook. I broke this one last year right after I wrote it. Hold on, I got a message. I’ll be right back. Well, that one got broken fast enough. Let’s try again.
3) In 2016, I will be more tolerant towards people I run into whom I have not seen for a long time and who start a political discussion within a few minutes of our encounter. I don’t want to talk about politics or be convinced of anything. Tell me about your children and show me photos of your family and pets. This year, I will just smile and change the subject, or at last try.
4) In 2016, I will go to the gym more often. This is a throwback to last year’s resolutions. Unfortunately, it has been broken several times. The major problem is that it’s easier to watch sports. But I will again make a concerted effort to reduce the gym’s profit margin on my membership. I will also try to reduce the time I am on my phone in the gym, and try to exercise more. This is another repeat from last year .
5) In 2016, I will appreciate more the small town life. Not that I don’t appreciate it now, but I thought I’d throw it in because the other day I left my gas cap at the pump and then bought a new one. The next day my wife stopped at the same station and mentioned that I left the gas cap there. The attendant said someone turned it in and gave it back to her. That is small town living. Now I have two gas caps.
6) In 2016 … wait, got another Facebook message. Be right back. Repeat No. 2.
7) In 2016, I promise to reconsider buying junk on eBay that seems like a good idea before pressing the pay button. One example: My 8-track player and tapes now sit in a corner accumulating dust. But it still, a good show-and-tell item. I will shop locally more for useable items.
8) In 2016, I will (along the same lines) not attempt to explain to anyone under 20 years old how grooves in a plastic record make sounds. They seem to understand ones and zeros better.
9) In 2016, I will not make resolutions like eat healthier, be kinder or all that other stuff everyone makes. But, I will try to be more patient in the bank line when I leave my smart phone at the house. Last time I did that, I overheard a couple of people discussing how it’s good to beat your kids to discipline them. I’d rather be listening to music.
10) In 2016, I will not make a 10th resolution. Let’s just stop at nine and be untraditional.
Here are the top 10 New Year’s resolutions as listed by statisticbrain.com (It’s amazing what you can find on the Internet machine these days).
1: Lose Weight; 2: Get Organized; 3: Spend Less, Save More; 4: Enjoy Life to the Fullest; 5: Stay Fit and Healthy; 6: Learn Something Exciting; 7: Quit Smoking; 8: Help Others in Their Dreams; 9: Fall in Love; and 10: Spend More Time with Family.
Milk toast, but according to the same website, 75 percent of people making resolutions are breaking them in about one week. It’s another First World problem.
Happy belated New Year, dear reader. I hope you and I can carry on with our resolutions for a while longer, at least into February.
Hold on, I got a Facebook message again. Be right back. That No. 2 is going to be a problem.