Our kids may be bad in math and science, but I’m getting a new TV

By John Toth

I always enjoy writing this column. It’s like an escape of sorts, like working out in the gym. I’ve been slacking on the gym part, but I have kept up with the columns no matter what else is happening.

Some weeks, though, it’s hard to decide on a subject. For example, I could take off this week on the fact that more than half of our public school students are lost when it comes to math and science; or I could expand on the fact that we’re falling behind other countries when it comes to living longer.

I could also give you my thoughts on the State of the Union speech, but you probably already have heard about all this important stuff.

I used to think that important is better when it comes to newspapering, but I have slowly changed my mind. I now believe that interesting is more important than important. So, I shall bypass in this writing all that boring stuff about not living as long as others and that the country, when it comes to science, is slacking.

Wait. Why should I? After all, science can be interesting, and living longer certainly interests people. Why not take off on these subjects?

Maybe I will. I am getting a brand new LED TV, though. I am pretty excited abut that. And, I can really get into topics that I feel are exciting. This TV was at a bargain price, of course. I never buy impulsively. But, by purchasing it, I have officially abandoned my previously stated view that dots on a screen are better.

The old type of dots that require a converter box. I am now taking the stand that dots are not better than a high definition, perfect picture. There. I ate my previous words. Now I have the personal obligation to switch my big color dot TVs out, but that’s easier said than done, since the new TVs cost money, as does HD programming.

I learned that in the old school. Math at one time was important when buying things. I still like adding up the numbers to see if I can afford something rather than pulling out a nice shinny piece of plastic and not really worrying about the cost.

My children call me old-fashioned, but so be it. I like the money in my hand before I dish it out. Amazing, isn’t it? If the account goes in the negative, the purchase is postponed for a while.

Math and science were two of my favorite subjects. That’s why I became a writer. (Are you detecting sarcasm?)

I struggled, too, in some of those high school classes, especially since I knew for sure that some subjects would not help one bit after I graduated. They did, though. It just takes a few years to realize it.

So, how come we don’t live as long as people in some other countries? Because we exercise less and eat more. It’s not like we don’t have a choice. We create these and then wonder why we drop dead earlier.

Look at Jack LaLanne. The health guru died at 96. I’ll take that. Just wait. I’ll get to 96 and want to live until 97. It’s never enough. My children have orders never to pull the plug, or I’ll come back and haunt them.

I may change my mind on this when I get older and don’t feel much like joking about it.
I especially want to live as long as possible because I want to see what new gadgets our scientists come up with each year. Well, I hope they’ll still be our scientists, with the way the school survey reads right now.

Our students must realize how important science and math are, or we’ll be back to watching big dot TVs while other countries are watching 3D TVs projected from their watches, or something far-fetched like that.

I can’t wait to get my hands on this TV. I’ll rip it out of the box impatiently and take a good whiff inside. There is no better smell than the smell of a brand new electronic gadget straight out of the box.

Well, it looks like we’re running out of space again, so I’ll be wrapping it up for this week. Check back next week to see what is brewing in this writer’s mind.

PS. Any mistakes in this article are the editor’s fault. The writer is never to blame.