Guys, wedding planning = fish out of water

By John Toth / Editor and Publisher

A guy at a place where girls have a great time, but he is going only because the girl wants to go, is a great guy.

I am that great guy.

I have spent several hours in the last couple of weeks at bridal shows looking at stuff that is of no interest to me, watching people talk about subjects that I don’t really care about, and listening to long conversations about an event that will not take place for more than a year.

And, I did some of this while the NFL playoff games were going on. So, I’m not waiting for a pat on the back, I’m patting my OWN back right now. This is a heroic accomplishment.

I did like some of the features of these shows, like the free food and adult beverages at one, which put everyone is a great mood.

Show organizers have the bride-to-be and her relatives all figured out – spend a little on food and drinks now, rake in the big money later.

And, I mean big money. These wedding-things are expensive. Every time we stopped by a booth, the dollars signs started rolling into the thousands. Except for the photo booth vendor, which was one of my favorites. That was only $600.

O.K., so I liked the food, the drinks and the photo booth.

When a vendor started talking, all I thought of was the price. We could save a lot of time by cutting straight to the price. Dads are that way.

How much? You got to be kidding? I’m not trying to buy the place, just rent it for a few hours.

What? I can supply an entire army with booze for a month for that price? You’re kidding. I can buy clothes for myself for a lifetime for that. This is going to be worn once.

Are you serious? We’re not trying to feed the world, just a few people – once, with rubber chicken, or something like that.

I didn’t say all these things. I would not ruin the girls’ good time. They were in heaven.

Color coordination, dinnerware, decorations, entertainment, they all require detailed discussion that is not suited for the adult male, especially during the football playoffs.

I found a solution. Shut out everything but the food and drinks. We already played with the photo booth. Focus on these two things for the rest of the time. It worked great.

I was able to get through the show just fine. Then the problem was walking out of the event. I’m just kidding. I was fine. I don’t overindulge like that.

O.K., no more made-up stuff. I’ll stick to summing up my experience.

I went outside the room and sank into one of the many very comfortable chairs.

I got on my phone, checked Facebook and followed the playoff game online.

Not as good as being there, but better than listening to endless chatter about colors.

I was just fine. I felt like taking a little nap, but I feared that hotel security might think I’m some homeless guy and throw me out.

I carry a replacement phone battery with me all the time, so I was set for hours. Let the girls have their fun.

And then it was over. I lost track of time, so I cannot tell you when, but the event finally came to a conclusion. I was rested and in a good mood. The girls were tired.

Let’s go out to eat. I’ll treat.

O.K, the food, drinks and photo booth were great, but there was one more thing that was even greater.
“Thank you, daddy, for coming,” my daughter said, as she hugged me.

Cost of the venue: Too much. Cost of catering: Too much. Cost of entertainment: Too much. Hug from daughter: Priceless.

Aren’t you glad that you read all the way to the end?