Our 27th year of publishing
Published February 9, 2021
My annual ‘unresolutions’
By John Toth / The Bulletin
Each year in January, I write a column about my New Year’s unresolutions. It’s a little late this year, but later is better than never, so here we go with resolutions I will not make because I don’t feel like it.
Unresolution is a word I made up when I started writing these columns, but I only use it once a year, so it’s O.K.
I will not promise to shut the faucet off while I brush my teeth.
I know that many people will be upset about this because it wastes water. I agree with that, but I cannot save the planet by using less water in this case because I need to have it warm when I rinse the toothpaste out of my mouth. So, in the winter, all the cold water has to go through the pipe before we get to the warm water. It takes a while.
My mother always had me rinse with warm water when I was a small and impressionable child, and this wasteful habit stuck with me. It’s a small luxury that on a scale of 100 would register maybe a .001 when compared to the city flushing its water lines.
I will not promise to stay off my phone in the gym in 2021.
This is actually a beneficial unresolution because it keeps me in the gym longer. The Internet world gives me something to do other than repeating the same boring exercises. This may surprise some workout fans, but working out is boring. Running is boring.
I just want to rush through it all and be done. But, with the help of my phone, I stay in the gym and go through all the resistance machines and get on the treadmill while reading the latest posts on Twitter and Facebook.
Along the same lines, I will not promise to reduce my consumption of social media.
I really enjoy reading everyone else’s business on Facebook. Twitter is a madhouse of political topics. I often skip the articles and go straight to the comments.
Social media is a crazy alternative universe, but I get some column ideas from it. Sometimes I even quote a very good comment. Misusing words like “their” and “they’re” don’t bother me. They’re frequent, but I just substitute the correct word as I read.
I will not promise to stay away from the word “unprecedented” in 2021.
I would be the only member of the news media who would. Notice that I didn’t write “that would” because “who” is for people and “that” is for objects. But an unprecedented number of people think that these two words are interchangeable.
I will not promise to stop posting cat and dog photos, or reduce their frequency.
That is what the Internet was intended for originally, wasn’t it? O.K., it was also intended for family and vacation photos, but that’s it. And for funny memes and cartoons, but nothing else.
So, if you’ve had your fill of political rants, come over to my Facebook page to see what crazy stuff my cats have done lately.
I will not promise to finish my book in 2021.
I promised that in 2020, and it didn’t happen. I am almost done, though. All I have to do is rewrite the last chapter or two because I don’t like them. Then I have to basically edit all of it and rewrite some of it. Then I need to get it edited by an editor and then make it available to the public - somehow.
I’ll try, but no promises. Book writing is hard. These columns are a lot easier - and shorter.
I will not promise to be more timely with this column in 2022.
It can appear anytime after Dec. 31, 2021. That’s a long way off, though. By then we may be somewhat back to normal if these vaccine shots work out. I do promise that I am looking forward to that.
I’m going to do my part in getting rid of this thing once and for all. And that’s not an unresolution.
(John looks forward to hearing from you on this subject. Send me a note at email@example.com. You can even send an old-fashioned letter to: The Bulletin, P.O. Box 2426, Angleton, TX. 77516.)