Some of my real ramblings

By John Toth / Editor and Publisher

Zero tolerance
Friend: I don’t mind the cold, but hate it when I turn on the hot water and ice cold water flows out of it.
Me: I hate both.

Make a checklist next time
From Popular Mechanics: Someone Left a Hatch Open and Crippled India’s $2.9 Billion Submarine. Not leaving hatches open that could potentially sink a ship, particularly a submarine, is basic common sense. (Editor: When the submarine goes under water, someone please close the hatch - anyone.)

Zeros and ones bartender
Robot bartenders can mix perfect drinks in one minute. But can they listen to your problems? Robotic pole dancers look like robots. That’s sick.

No one got nuked
From the NYT: Breaking News. No one is bombing Hawaii. An emergency alert saying a ballistic missile was heading toward the state caused panic. But it was a false alarm. (Editor: It’s sort of important not to screw this up.)

Doctor: I feel like I forgot something
From the Houston Chronicle: An Army veteran who says someone left a scalpel inside him after surgery is suing a Veterans Affairs hospital. Bridgeport resident Glenford Turner says the scalpel was only discovered years later, after he suffered from long-term abdominal pain. He sued the VA in U.S. District Court last week, seeking unspecified compensatory damages.
(Editor: Who could that “someone” be? Maybe it was a doctor. Just a wild guess.)

Ipad commercial
Mother: What are you doing on your computer?
Daughter: What’s a computer?
(Editor: You’re holding it. I don’t get it.)

U.S. is comparatively safe
Compared to which country is the United States relatively much safer when it comes to murders? You would guess that we’re No. 1, right? Wrong. Not even close.
In 2017, Mexico reported 29,168 murders. I could only find 2016 totals for the U.S., when we recorded 17,250 murders. Unless the numbers just totally exploded from one year to the next, which I doubt, that statistically you are much safer in this country of 323 million people than in Mexico, total population of 127 million.

But what would they do in a China shop?
From the Houston Chronicle: A northern Namibian village was raided by a herd of 28 elephants that wrecked 18 homes, uprooted trees and destroyed the village borehole well.
Residents of Otjorute say the animals frequently arrive from a nearby conservation area during harvest time, but this month’s raids are unprecedented.
The villagers say the pachyderms arrived early one morning. amid much noise and chaos, leaving a trail of uprooted or damaged trees in their wake.
The New Era daily reports at least one elephant followed people’s footprints until it got into their houses.