Observations on airport yoga and flying kids

By John Toth

San Francisco has come up with another first – a yoga room at its airport.

Let me say right off the bat that I do not do yoga, but even if I did, the airport would probably be the last place I would think of doing it. I do other things at airport terminals, like trying to find a seat far away from crying babies, or other types of small children.

It’s not that I don’t like children. I have raised three. But at the airport, they create complications I’d rather not deal with while I’m waiting to board a plane and really don’t want to talk to anyone.

All I am interested in is either my computer or smart phone and Facebook (or some other site that is just perfect when you need to waste several hours).

The problem is that after you make a seating choice, here come the kids. And they are all hyper because shortly they’ll be boarding one of those big planes they see through the window.

What I really dislike is when the mom decides to proudly show off her parenting skills and starts talking to the kids like one of those school teachers in front of the class when the principal is in the room.

Mom thinks that everyone is interested in the angels as she goes through a list of educational things for them to do, while the rest of us are trying to shut it all out and focus on Facebook – like dad.

The last thing on my mind is whether the airport has a yoga room. But maybe I shouldn’t be so close minded. Let me open up a little and relax. Maybe I’ll meditate before continuing with the column.
OK, I’m done.

What’s worse than having kids running around you in the waiting area is sitting next to, front, or back of a baby on a flight. By the time you get off one of those flights, you’ll need a yoga room.

Even if the baby behaves, which is not often, you feel pressured to acknowledge his or her existence. With adults, you can just shut them out for the entire flight.

“How old is she. She is so pretty. Look, how cute, she sneezed all over me. What’s that smell?”

Babies are generally not good passengers. They cry a lot. Not because they want to, but because of the change in cabin pressure. It hurts their ears. You can tell them to swallow, but they are babies and have no idea what you’re saying.

They also get cranky when the plane hits some turbulence. I have tried to fix that problem by purchasing numerous adult beverages, so neither the crying nor the turbulence bothers me. But that creates a new problem – trying to walk off the plane.

The San Francisco airport people are pretty proud of their yoga room. They call it a “leap forward in providing our travelers the opportunity and space to relax and decompress on their own terms.”

Maybe I should take up yoga, just in case I ever fly to San Francisco. That way, if my plane gets delayed by several hours, I can just go in there and meditate while I curse under my breath.

There should also be a family yoga room, where families can relax together. They would come out of there all chilled, ready to board, while the rest of us wait our turn. But, we’d all be more relaxed.

I would definitely be in favor of building yoga rooms at all airports if they’d also put a bar in the corner.

Yoga next to a bar, now that would be really relaxing.