No need to count votes when elections are pre-determined

By John Toth / Editor and Publisher

I like a good, close election. We had some interesting ones right here in Brazoria County recently.

I also like elections elsewhere that are obviously pre-determined, but those holding them are pretending that there is nothing wrong. They make perfect column fodder.

You may have missed it, as I did at the time it was held, but North Korea recently held elections to determine who will lead that country for the next five years.

I recently read a Time Magazine piece on it, and I was not surprised to learn that the Great Leader, Kim Jung Un, won by a landslide. With 100% of the votes counted, it was determined that nearly 100% of the people in North Korea voted, and they voted 100% for Kim, the only name on the ballot.

That seems almost unbelievable, considering that in the U.S.A, we have trouble getting people to the polls. But that was the number, as reported by the North Korean news agency.

I know that this agency is known to make stuff up, but in this case, they didn’t have to do that. That’s exactly what happened.

And, when the voting was over, the people were so happy at the outcome, that they burst into a patriotic song. How patriotic.

Kim’s uncle could tell you, if he were not dead, what happens to those who do not support the Great Leader. Sadly, the uncle was killed ... by Kim, as was the uncle’s entire immediate family.

No excitement in the North Korean elections, other than the threat of death or labor camp.

I thought this took the cake until the Crimea referendum vote was held after Russia already occupied that part of Ukraine.

The city of Sevastopol is a pretty, seaside town in Crimea. It has a lot of history, beautiful scenery, and a total of 385,462 residents, including children.

On March 16, this city voted overwhelmingly to join Russia, by 94.5 percent. There were a total of 474,137 votes cast, 88,675 more than all the residents combined in the entire city, including the children.

The Russian overseers made the mistake of over-stuffing the ballot boxes. We had a student council election in high school where the same thing happened. More students voted than were in attendance that day. The argument could be made that this is so high-school!

Crimea, a few weeks ago, became occupied by Russia, and then the referendum elections were held. Before the occupation, four percent of the people in Crimea wanted to join with Russia. That increased to 94.5 percent after troops moved into the area. Invasions have a way of turning around a vote.

The referendum did not allow for a “no” vote on whether the area should be annexed. The outcome was an overwhelming “yes” and “yes.”

These dictator types need to just stop with the fake elections. It’s not fooling anyone. Just assume that they are the winners because they have a lot of weapons and move on until another dictator takes over, one way or another.

Kim must have been laughing hard when he saw the Crimean results. Only 94.5%, what an amateur that Putin is. I got 100%, he probably said to whoever was around him, still alive.

Putin: Yeah, Kim, but we counted 123 percent of the vote, not 100% like you did, so who is better now?

Kim: You got me there, Vladimir. Just wait until the next election. We’ll count 200 percent if we have to.

Putin: Kim, if you want to make the elections interesting, run against yourself.

Kim: Not funny, Vladimir. If I did that, I’d have to kill myself.