HOME ARCHIVE2016

Ramblings: recap of weird stories you may have missed

By John Toth / Editor and Publisher

The prank was a gas.

Why would employees of a Burger King in Minnesota grab tire irons and smash all the restaurant’s windows?

It wasn’t all their fault. They were convinced that if they didn’t, gas would build up to dangerous levels, and the store would explode.

A prank caller was posing as a fire official. During the course of the conversation, the caller spoke as if he were remotely monitoring the situation inside the restaurant and could tell that the gas pressure was rising.

Investigators were trying to trace the origin of the prank, and were comparing notes with police in other cities around the country where similar phony calls have been reported at fast-food chains in recent days, including outlets in California and Oklahoma.

What did the prankster get out of all this mischievous deed? Nothing.

Stuffed dog lost in space?

A cuddly stuffed toy dog may be floating around in space after a group of students put it in a helium balloon that lifted it 15 miles high.

Dog stories in newspapers are not complete with a name, so it’s very important to note that the stuffed dog’s name was Sam.

Students responsible with the uplifting experience attend Morecambe Bay Primary School in northwest England.

The youngsters monitored the toy dog’s location via GPS tracking equipment as he beamed back beautiful images showing the curvature of the Earth.

But when the balloon popped, Sam detached from the tracker and camera. The equipment plummeted back down and was discovered in a field in Burnley, some 48 miles southeast of the launch site.

Fortunately, it didn’t hit anyone.

The stuffed canine astronaut was nowhere to be found. It could have fallen back to Earth somewhere. A search is under way. But it’s more fun to think that Sam, the stuffed dog, is now lost in space.

Why not just flush it?

A lot of people just flush their dead fish down the toilet, but that was not an option for Laura Psutka, 24, a paramedic from Ontario, Canada.

The fish resided in an aquarium in her bathroom, and over time they had grown close. The fish’s name was Peeping Tom, just to satisfy everyone’s curiosity whether it had a name.

“He really became a member of the family, as weird as that is to say about a fish,” Psutka told the Huffington Post. “He was a great companion, always just hanging out.”

Yes, in general, that’s what fish in aquariums do - hang out. They really can’t go anywhere past the glass surroundings.

“He lived in my bathroom,” Psutka said. “Livin’ his life watching people poop and shower.”

That would kill me off pretty quickly, but fish are different. They don’t really understand what’s going on. To them, the bathroom may just look like some strange universe.

Peeping Tom eventually died of old age, and Psutka decided to give it a Viking sendoff. She put the dead fish in a very small replica of a viking ship, pushed it off the shore and lit the matches on the ship.

There went Peeping Tom to the other side, well done. Maybe even overdone.

Editor’s Note: When I was just a kid and had an aquarium, all the dead fish got flushed down the toilet.

No. 2 Museum opens

If you thought the British were a little crazy, you may be right.

In the Isle of Wight Zoo, visitors can now enjoy the Poo Museum. There are exhibits from more than 20 different animals, and they even have some fossilized poo dating back 140 million years.

Nigel George, one of the crap curators, says the reason for doing a museum dedicated to doody is simple: “Poo provokes strong reactions.”

That may be an understatement.

The exhibits don’t smell, though. The museum is using a specialized dryer to take the smell away. Like anyone who has ever gone to a zoo would object to a little smell. It can’t be worse than the elephant exhibit.

The Poo Museum officials made a big announcement recently. The exhibits will be going on tour in the fall.

Touring poo - it is historical (or hysterical - either way).