Big news: A terrorist killed; Donald’s hair survives

By John Toth
Bulletin Publisher

Where were you when you heard of Osama bin Laden being killed?

This is big news, really big. It’s so big that I am even dedicating column space to it. So, you know this is big stuff.

The morning after, I drove down Hwy. 35 in Angleton and saw a bunch of flag-waving people in front of the Military Moms and Wives of Brazoria County with signs saying honk if you are proud of the U.S. Or something like that.

I honked the horn like crazy. I was the only one at the time to honk, though. I guess the rest of the drivers were shy or their horn was broken. Maybe they thought the place was being picketed, or that it was a fund-raiser car wash.

So, how many of you were watching “Celebrity Apprentice” when the special report sign came across the screen? That Obama! He pulled this stunt just to cut into Trump’s show. It wasn’t enough that he made minced meat out of the Donald the night before at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Now this.

He had to go kill some terrorist and time it so that the show would get interrupted. That’s cheating.

I was not watching it. I was probably on Facebook. That’s a good bet. I waste a lot of time on Facebook. I opened up one of the blog sites I regularly visit and saw there that there is going to be a major announcement coming from the White House – on a Sunday night.

That’s unusual, because the last thing you want to do is make any announcement on a Sunday night. I’ve been in the news business for a long time. The editorial departments are not exactly fully staffed on Sunday nights.

But this was so big it could not wait for a good time slot.

So, I turned the television machine on and started guessing that the big announcement would be about Osama bin Laden. And the suspense built. I became glued to the television machine.

Hey, this is better than “Celebrity Apprentice.” How much of the Donald can a person stomach in one weekend, anyway? I like that hair, though. It never moves. You could put him in the middle of a tornado, and that hair would not budge.

The next few days, some in the media started second-guessing what had happened. One pundit even asserted that the whole mission was a violation of international law, and objected that bin Laden was unarmed and in pajamas when he was shot and killed.

Boohoo. He was killed in his jammies. Maybe we should have served him milk and cookies.
I personally didn’t want him alive. I don’t care if he was shot in the back while trying to climb out the bathroom window.

He suffered less than the more than 3,000 people killed in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. The end was justified.

So, Obama got Osama. We’re living in historical times, dear reader. Bin Laden’s demise is on the scale of Hitler’s death or the moon landing, as far as news people are concerned. That is, if he is actually dead.

One of my Internet buddies swears that the real one still lives in New York City and drives a cab. Someone else told me that he knows the guy who killed bin Laden in 2002.

The conspiracy theory doors are now wide open for some who will never believe that what took place on May 1 actually happened.