Kick him in the shin again, and again ... score!

By John Toth
Bulletin Publisher

Two guys are holding each others’ shoulders and doing their best to kick the other in the shin. Someone ought to break this up. They must be really angry at each other.

Why don’t they just wrestle or duke it out to settle their differences? Kicking the other guy in the shin is very painful. Not as painful as kicking a little higher, but still painful.

Did you ever bang your shin against something? It hurt like heck, right? Can you imagine if someone actually tried to kick you in the shin on purpose? There has to be a better way to settle differences.

What? They’re not angry? I guess they are just messing around or perhaps are doing it as a sport, right?
I was just kidding. There cannot be such a sport in today’s world. No one would participate. It’s silly to try to kick someone in the shin.

How could I have been so wrong?

Shin-Kicking is the most popular event at the “Robert Dover Cotswold Olimpicks” held annually on Dover’s Hill in Gloucetershire, England. The event, officially called the “Shin-Kicking World Championships,” attracts thousands of visitors each year, and the biggest draw is the Shin-Kicking contest.

Here is how it works: Two contestants hold on to each other’s shoulders and try to kick the opponent in the shin until one falls over. The harder you kick, the better the chance that you are going to win. This “sport” has been called bruising discipline, not for the faint-hearted.

After watching the last Winter Olympics, I got the impression that Curling is one of the weirdest sports on Earth. Players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area. It does not appear particularly exciting to watch, but the players seem to get a kick out of it, especially those who win.

Nope, Shin-kicking has to be weirder than scooting something slowly across the ice.

Obviously, I am taking off on this because I saw an article on the 2011 event held recently. This year’s winner and worldwide champion of Shin-kicking is Ben Corfield, 32, a civil engineer from Gloucester.
He out-kicked Australian Jessie Hunt. After the match, they were both seen limping.

Contestants are allowed to protect themselves by stuffing hay inside their pant legs, so it’s not like they are kicking each other bloody. But a good kick to the shin cannot be fully cushioned by the hay, which is why contestants go down and start yelling: “My leg really hurts now.”

I made that up, but this is real. One contestants said: “My legs gave up on me, so it’s an endurance thing, so I am very pleased I did it.”

Then he asked the reporter to hit him really hard.

No, he didn’t, but I would have liked to see what his shin looked like after the contest.

You would think this is the strangest sport in the world, but it is not. It’s only the seventh strangest. Is this a sick world, or what?

According to dirjournal.com, there are six other sports, or contests, that are even stranger.

6) Octopush: Also knows as underwater hockey. This will take your breath away.

5) World Boomerang Throwing: This is self explanatory. If the boomerang returns from where it started, you’re doing alright.

4) Rock-Paper-Scissors: Hundreds gather to play for the crown, and we do not know why.
3) World Nettle Eating Championship: Whoever eats the most nettles, wins. This is a stomach turning contest, to say the least.

2) Extreme Ironing: Entrants are given the same number of clothing items to iron, and the winner has to come to my house each morning.

1) Chess Boxing: Contestants participate in a regular boxing match. Once the bell sounds at the end of each round, they leave the ring and play chess until the next rounds begins. The winner either knocks out or check mates his opponent.

I’m sorry, but I disagree, dirjournal.com. Chess Boxing is weird, but it doesn’t come close to Shin-kicking. Let’s kick that around a little. Ouch.