I need a gym surrogate

By John Toth
I’m in the gym, going through my normal routine of torture machines that make me exert myself. I’m pushing hard, even though I’m getting tired because I know it’s best for me to be in better shape.
Push on that bar, tug on that lever, lift that weight, walk uphill for a few miles, and then repeat it again next time … whenever that may be.
I am not one of those dedicated gym customers. If I can find a way out of going, I will. I know I shouldn’t, but if I’m left to choose between working out and being lazy, I will lean toward lazy.
My oldest son, who is in the gym business, pushes me to keep going. He is into working out and body building. I’m more into trying to get out of working out.
Once I start the routine, though, it’s not so bad, and I start feeling pretty good. And, I promise myself that I will return three more times this week, and of course, I never do.
And, I feel guilty that I’m messing around on the computer rather than fulfilling my promise.
I wish the human body was made so that I could pay someone to work out, and I would reap the benefits. That would be ideal, just like in the movie “The Surrogates” starring Bruce Willis.
I was watching that movie the other day rather than working out, and really enjoyed it. My son, John, suggests which movies we should watch, and he always hits it just right. This was a great movie.
Then I went to Yahoo to read up on it. The movie only took in $38.5 million, so it’s not like Disney made a killing on this one – probably lost money. People don’t seem to appreciate movies that give us ideas of what to invent in the future.
I need a surrogate like the ones in the movie to do stuff for me. But, I’d have it walk right by me because I just want it to do certain tasks.
For example, I don’t mind walking dogs, but I do mind picking up their poop. So, I’d still walk the dogs, but get the surrogate to pick up the poop and dispose of it in a trash can.
I still want to go places like Kemah, but would get the surrogate to ride the rides that make me sick. And, I’d still go to Astros games, but have the surrogate catch the foul balls so I don’t have to get trampled.
And, I’d still go to the gym for the social experience, but the surrogate would do all the torture machine exercises.
In the movie, the surrogates get programmed wrong and the real people start dying. I wouldn’t allow that. The movie has to be like that so people go see it. Nobody would pay to see a movie about a bunch of surrogates picking up dog poop.
Unfortunately, that’s Disney, and this is reality. I got to get to this gym more than once a week. I promise that I will … again.
Oh, it’s raining? I can’t go, but maybe tomorrow. I’ll probably have a stomach ache, though.