Back to school time is here

By John Toth

Attention all school-age children. Your days of sleeping until noon are over. By the time you read this, it will be almost time to go back to school, or you will be already in school.

And, that’s wonderful news for your parents. Their vacation is just starting.

The time right before going back to school is exciting for many children. They are buying new clothes, getting school supplies, growing a little giddy about school opening. Why?

Your parents are bribing you with new clothes to take your mind off of the fact that you now have to get up at 6 a.m. and actually study, and stuff like that. It’s all a game, and parents know how to play it.

And when you get down to business, back-to-school supplies are nothing like being on Facebook all day. Glue, tissues, paper and pencil are not exactly super exciting.

What’s a pencil?

It’s hard to define these days. You can buy a pencil now that turns your writing permanent after three days, and a pen that you can erase. These features overlap, which makes the definition rather difficult.

And, you have those mechanical pencils with all the moving gadgets inside that you can click while the teacher is talking.

It's time again for teachers and following rules, neither of which were present during the summer, when you could do whatever you wanted while mom and dad worked. And, don’t think teachers are happier during the school year than while vacationing for a couple of months and getting paid. They also like the summer better, but all good things must come to an end.

Teaching is a hard job. It’s not like writing a column and making stuff up. I have tried it and prefer teaching a bunch of adults the art of defensive driving rather than a room full of kids. I do that too, you know. Column writing is fun, but I need other avenues to release all my talents.

Some of you may have taken my class at Brazos Mall or in Sugarland and know what I’m talking about. If you didn’t like the class, it's because I may have been too hung over.

Back to back to school. I like to stay on topic, but it’s too hard. It’s also hard to type all this stuff. The keys often don’t cooperate. I should have taken typing in high school, but didn’t feel like it.

So public schools are now rolling, and it’s time for the average child to go into defensive mode. Monday is stomach ache day, and Friday is headache day. Don’t get these two mixed up.