Lying about jumping off balcony is not very plausible

By John Toth / Editor and Publisher

Josh Shaw needs to learn how to lie.

Shaw is the University of California football player who fabricated a very badly conceived lie recently.
He told the press that he suffered two high ankle sprains after leaping from a second-floor balcony at an apartment complex in Palmdale, California, to help his 7-year-old nephew who was distressed in a swimming pool.

That same time, though, he appeared in a police incident report filed from his girlfriend’s Los Angeles apartment as a suspect. He obviously could not be in two places at once, hurting those same ankles.

He then confessed that he suffered the injury while climbing down a balcony at the complex. But he didn’t say why.

This is where the problem takes a turn for the worse.

If it hasn’t already come out why he was climbing down that balcony, it will come out eventually, and then the story gets a new life.

He has been suspended indefinitely from the team. The damage has been done, so why not just come out with the truth right away, and lessen the consequences?

Everybody has lovers’ spats, so just come out and say it. “I said something very bad to my girlfriend, and she pushed me and my dirty mouth over the balcony.”

That would be embarrassing, but people understand. You’re not trying to cover up whatever stupid thing happened that led to the injury.

“I got into a fight with my girlfriend. She pulled a big gun out, and I ran for my life, leaping from the balcony.”

See, that wasn’t so bad. People understand when a guy runs from a woman holding a loaded, large-caliber gun. The natural thing to do in this case is to leap to safety, off the balcony.

Whatever happened or didn’t happen, Josh cannot come out with the truth now and expect people to believe it. They are going to think that the truth is just another lie to cover something that is even more embarrassing than what was confessed.

But Josh is still in college. It’s not too late to learn how to lie professionally by taking a political science class.

Some politicians get shot down when telling a lie, but most of them get away with it, and the lie becomes the truth.

I’m not talking about Garry Hart, the Democratic presidential candidate who challenged the press to catch him about a lie regarding his affair.

That was a dumb thing to do. Of course, the press is going to catch him after such a challenge. He should have paid closer attention in Political Science 101.

The press ate that guy alive, as it does other politicians who have not learned the science of lying.
President Nixon didn’t fare too well, either. President Clinton got a little sidetracked with all the lies about a sexual encounter inside the White House with an intern.

So, if you’re going to take one of these classes, Josh, pay closer attention than those I have just mentioned.

And definitely don’t listen to Putin. He is one of the worst untruth tellers in history. I didn’t want to use the word liar anymore.

According to the Internet machine, one of the most important rules of lying well is to keep it plausible.
It’s also important to be able to create a situation that cannot be debunked by the press with just one phone call to Josh’s little nephew.

Really, Josh? Jumped off a balcony to save the kid? You’ll have to do better than that.